{"id":1642,"date":"2017-06-26T07:00:18","date_gmt":"2017-06-26T13:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/?p=1642"},"modified":"2017-06-25T19:29:51","modified_gmt":"2017-06-26T01:29:51","slug":"earth-girls-are-easy-a-bad-movie-ive-watched-many-many-many-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/earth-girls-are-easy-a-bad-movie-ive-watched-many-many-many-times\/","title":{"rendered":"EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY: A Bad Movie I’ve Watched Many, Many, MANY Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Bad<\/a>So in my teenage years, I was a fan of The Doctor Demento Show, where he\u2019d play a whole slew of novelty songs, and it was there that I first became familiar with Julie Brown.\u00a0 She was most known for her song \u201cThe Homecoming Queen\u2019s Got A Gun\u201d, which was about\u2026 well, it\u2019s right there in the title. There isn’t much more to say about it. \u00a0While she had quite a few songs that were in regular rotation on Doctor Demento, that was far and away the most popular.<\/p>\n

Diving deeper into the Julie Brown canon, there was a ditty called \u201cEarth Girls Are Easy\u201d, in which Julie sings about get seduced by a horny alien.\u00a0 I liked the song, but it was pretty damn obscure– even by “Songs by A Novelty Act On Doctor Demento” standards– so it was quite surprising to see that Julie Brown was producing a movie of the same name. \u00a0At this point, Julie’s visibility was\u00a0slightly<\/em> bigger, that she was a personality on MTV (but not to be confused with Downtown Julie Brown), but she was still a novelty-act comedian. \u00a0Getting a major motion picture at all was a coup, especially starring two of Hollywoods biggest upcoming stars. \u00a0I mean, for modern context, imagine if Rachel Bloom had, instead of making Crazy Ex-Girlfriend<\/strong><\/em>, gotten a deal for a full-length feature version of “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” AND gotten Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling to play the leads. \u00a0That’s kind of what we’re talking about here.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I mean, if the movie is remembered for anything, it’s for being the follow-up for then husband-and-wife team Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum, who were super hot and marketable after\u00a0The Fly<\/i><\/b>.\u00a0 Needless to say, for them to cash in that capital working on what would never be more than a cult movie\u2014after all, a musical alien-sex-comedy wasn\u2019t exactly going to be the sleeper feel-good hit of the year\u2014 was definitely a strange choice.<\/p>\n

This means that Julie plays second banana in her own movie, casting herself as the best friend to Geena.\u00a0 Geena plays a hairdresser with severe romantic problems, despite the fact that she looks like, well, Geena Davis.\u00a0 He attempts to surprise seduce her fianc\u00e9 Doctor Love (played by the late Charles Rockett) reveals that he\u2019s been cheating on her with his nurses.\u00a0 So she kicks him out of the house and electrocutes his fish, while lip-synching a ballad that is clearly, clearly not<\/i> Geena Davis singing.<\/p>\n

\"600full-earth-girls-are-easy-screenshot\"<\/a>The movie IS a musical, but most of the musical duty is provided by Julie Brown herself.\u00a0 The biggest indulgence along those lines is a completely extraneous number of \u201cBecause I\u2019m A Blonde\u201d\u2014another one of her hits on the Doctor Demento Show– in which Julie performs in blonde wig. \u00a0Here she’s playing someone who has absolutely nothing to do with her regular character in the movie. \u00a0The whole scene has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. Seriously, saying it comes out of left field is an insult to scenes that legitimately<\/em> come out of left field. \u00a0One of the other characters randomly mentions there’s a beauty contest on the beach, we cut to this musical number,\u00a0and then the movie comes back to the plot.<\/p>\n

Plot?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Oh, right.<\/p>\n

So while Geena Davis is bemoaning her romantic woes, three furry aliens are surveying Earth in their spaceship.\u00a0 And by \u201csurveying\u201d, I mean spying on Geena sunbathing in her bikini.\u00a0 This causes them to crash their spaceship in her pool.<\/p>\n

(There is a small bit of business involving shrinking and growing when entering and exiting the ship, probably because they wanted to commit to the idea of crashing an alien spaceship in a pool, and had to justify it being that small.)<\/p>\n

Anyhow, after some wackiness and miscommunication, Geena makes friends with the aliens, and then takes them to her hair salon (the \u201cCurl Up and Dye\u201d) to make-over them to Earth acceptable. \u00a0Shaving and dying the aliens turns them into Goldblum and pre-fame Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans.\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The rest of the plot is largely negligible, as the aliens party on Earth, hook up with girls, and Geena and Jeff fall in love.\u00a0 Doctor Love tries to get Geena back, and starts some sort of fight with the aliens.\u00a0 It\u2019s neither memorable or relevant.\u00a0 The point is at the aliens have to leave Earth, and Geena goes with them, because why not?<\/p>\n

Really, plot isn\u2019t the point.<\/p>\n

The point is Julie Brown got to milk her fifteen minutes and make her movie with sexy aliens and goofy songs and a future Oscar winner, and it got released on the big screen.\u00a0 For a performer who was entirely a novelty act, that\u2019s pretty much a big check in the W column.<\/p>\n

And, yeah, I\u2019m probably being kinder to this movie than it deserves, but it\u2019s got no illusions about what it is.\u00a0 I can respect that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So in my teenage years, I was a fan of The Doctor Demento Show, where he\u2019d play a whole slew of novelty songs, and it was there that I first […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1642","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1642"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1642"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1642\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1643,"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1642\/revisions\/1643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrmaresca.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}